Looking forward to the little things

I have one more week of class and my assistantship before my two-year grad school journey comes to and end. May is going to be a very very busy month and I have several fun and exciting events to look forward to.

The second weekend in May... I'm going to spend in Biloxi with Kyle and likely sign a lease to an apartment in this restored 1920s stucco house just across the street from the beach! We tried looking for a house to buy, but nothing felt right. I'll post pics of that after I visit. But here's a view from the house.

Can you just imagine waking up and seeing that view everyday and being
that close to the sand. Aaaah, I can just feel myself soaking up the sun now.

The third weekend in May... is GRADUATION! I can't believe it's actually happening... My parents and Aunt Julie are coming for the big day and then we're taking a trip to Orange Beach, AL to celebrate. Kyle and I will also be celebrating our third wedding anniversary as well. Lord, where has time gone?!

We had four days of absolute AMAZING weather. I can only hope that we will
have that same luck again so we can enjoy being outside together and relaxing. 

The fourth weekend in May... is the Memorial holiday and a few friends from Kansas are flying into Nola with their husbands. I've not seen these girls in five years. That will be one crazy reunion. I will also get to spend some time with a couple grad school pals–Kristin, who is visiting from Washington, and Mia–before I make the move to Biloxi the following and final week of May.

This was from a white trash-themed party I had at my house in May 2012. 

I'm trying not to get too worked up about the big transition and many changes coming. The last week of May is going to entail A LOT of packing and the house in disarray as I get things ready to haul.

I'm starting to feel that bittersweet sense of nostalgia creeping up as this chapter in my life comes to a close. I want to stay positive and focus on all the entertainment coming up, but I can't help thinking of what I'm going to miss and what's ahead.

Finding the courage to banish my fears

My apologies for the hiatus... Life has been HECTIC!

This past week I defended my professional project to complete my master's, and it has been one rough road. And toward the end just before I turned it in (let's just be honest, pretty much for the entire last three months), I had a feeling deep inside my stomach that I wasn't going to pass and make it to graduation. That feeling was fear. 

Kyle sent me this daily horoscope over the weekend that addressed this state of fear I've been living in.

Beginning with my first semester in the fall of 2011, after I had a very rude awakening about just how demanding and challenging my course load was going to be, I've been afraid I wasn't going to make it through. And yet, even after three semesters of tremendous success with an excellent portfolio and GPA to prove it, I continued to doubt myself. I was defining myself by my performance in each of these classes and despite high remarks from my professors I was STILL afraid. I guess I haven't found my inner courage yet. 

So you might think at this point that I would stop questioning myself, my abilities and my knowledge because I've made it. I'm a LEO for goodness sakes, we're suppose to be courageous. I don't think I'm there yet, but gosh I'm trying. While I'm not afraid whether I will graduate, I am now concerned that I won't find a job in Biloxi after I move there. The point is, there's always something to be afraid about/of. I've got to draw from my experiences and realize that I have always overcome my fears by sheer will and determination, and I will continue to do so because that's just who I am. 

I, and only I have power over my fears. If the cowardly lion can do it. I can do it! Now, where's my magic wand...

Look for more frequent posts as I wrap up my last couple of months here in Louisiana and make my way to the Mississippi Gulf Coast. 

My cliche Thanksgiving post

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I am sitting in my warm, cozy house wrapping up homework and lounging with my animals. Tomorrow I am off to my in-laws to enjoy a feast fit for a king and while I miss my family in Kansas, I will be embraced by others that love me just as dearly.

My Facebook feed has been blowing up all month with daily 'what I'm thankful for' statuses and I haven't posted one. The truth is, I've been so wrapped up in my own adversities and personal challenges this semester, and others in the last year, that I haven't spent a single moment reflecting on all I should be thankful and grateful for.

The past six months have been a roller coaster. My emotions fluctuate sometimes on an hourly basis between bitter and angry about life and confident and content that this is God's plan and I need to just let go and allow him to work his magic. Some days I am so terribly lonely without Kyle home every night to comfort and support me as I finish up my third semester of grad school that I just want to hide under my covers with the cat and the dog and push the whole world away. Other days, I am ok and we Facetime in the evening and it feels normal. 

When I start feeling like the weight of the world is sitting right on top of my chest, I have to force myself to conduct a reality check and put things into perspective. So, on that note, I thought I would take this opportunity to encompass all that I'm thankful for before I spiral into a black hole the next two weeks as I finish up several major projects and prepare for final exams.

I am thankful for my husband Kyle. He is my rock, voice of reason and love of my life. He would do anything for me.

 
I am thankful for my friends. They commiserate with me, send me notes of encouragement, dress up with me and forgive me when I'm a total bitch.

 

 

And of course, my family. I would not be the strong, persistent and passionate woman I am today without their unconditional love.