Today is Mothers Day and I'm going to admit that I did not get my act together in time. Last weekend when I planned to put a little something special together, the Wednesday night before I got sooo sick. I mean sick like I haven't been in a long time, with a 103 fever and a terrible stomach flu. It was just horrendous and it lasted all weekend long so I had absolutely no time to do anything. Then, when Monday came I was feeling slightly better but was still really tired from not sleeping all that well. The next few days just flew by with worrying about grad school stuff and before I knew it the weekend was here and I had not even sent a card! Shame on me! But sometimes, I think cards are just a waste because they simply cannot convey, no matter how eloquently well-written they are, the deep and profound love and respect I have for her.
My mother is the most self-sacrificing person I have ever known. I mean she just gives and she gives and she gives, and then when you think to yourself, I don't know how she manages to do it all she just gives of herself more. And really, that's not a good thing. My mom told me recently that she's been doing the "mom thing" so long she's forgotten what she likes. What???? I said? How is that possible? Well, it's possible when your life becomes your children and your family. I'm not sure I'll ever measure up to her. These last few years, the ones in my Junior and Senior year in college and the ones out here in Jax I have appreciated her more and more. I think we learn to appreciate our moms differently as we have different life experiences.See below.
I really just don't know how I didn't put my mom in the nut house during my adolescence? By the grace of God she survived both mine and my brother's teenage years and my years on in to college, and beyond that I'm sure I gave her heart failure more than a time or two. Though despite my really rebellious years, my mom and I have always had a really really special relationship. I mean this truly intrinsic, cemented and closely bonded friendship that I know many of my friends did not have the luxury of knowing while in their most difficult years and some still do not have the closeness with their mother like I do. When I moved off to college I still spoke to my mom like 3 times a day, at least and did so for the entire 4.5 years. I mean I was excited to talk to her on a daily basis and tell her what I was doing and ask what the family was planning for the weekend that I would not be present for. In fact, at 26 I still talk to my mom at least 1 phone call a day and 1 e-mail a day. I never really thought about her as one of my best friends until her last trip to visit me, and I realized, "Gosh, I love hanging out with my mom like I love hanging out with my friends!"
I've realized more in the last couple of years that my mom was super woman when I was a child. Work all day at an extremely stressful job, come home and cook dinner, help us with our needs whether it be school projects, homework or some personal crisis like a boy that broke my heart. And then on the weekends, one might think she'd do something for herself? Nope, it was all about my brother and I, or family. I owe her my life, I owe her my absolute devotion to returning the sacrifice she made to give me the life that I have. I love you Carla. I'm sorry I can't be there today, and I'm sorry I didn't come through in time this year. But I have figured out what I'm going to get you I just have to wait for pay day so give me another week and you'll have a surprise in the mail to follow.
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